Don’t mind me...

So I was going through my phone pictures this afternoon, looking for a quote I had set aside weeks ago, that fit perfectly with how I was feeling at the moment...

~spoiler alert: I was fuming angry and wanted to punch something, or run- run fast. It would’ve been one of those runs where I only had 7 1/2 minutes to run, so I would run a mile as fast as I could and amaze myself with how fast I can run when I’m angry, and I would suddenly realize that I wasn’t really angry anymore, and I’d be so grateful to have running to help me. 

...so I was looking for the quote I knew I had, and I came upon this picture instead...

...and I truly burst into tears. 

Tears of pride. Tears of jealousy. Tears of “oh my god what I wouldn’t give to run like that again.”

This is my own kid. 
Finishing his first 10K. 
Beaming with pride.

It is such an awesome picture, and it was just bad luck that I came upon it when I did. Maybe not really bad luck though, because in a weird way it feels good to feel strong feelings about running.

Again. 

Or still. 

I feel like I’ve laid down and just accepted the jacked-up nature of My Left Knee (oh boy, here I go being dramatic). Before the last surgery, I fought tooth and nail to try and find a way out of it, to research all about it, to get myself ready for it. Now, I’m just having my knee sliced open again. Big woop. 

And, I used to be a runner and I loved every second of it and now I’m not. Big woop. 

So feeling strong feelings about running means I’m still in there. The fire in me is there. The desire to be physically great is there.

I’ll get back to it again. I know I will.

But in the meantime, don’t mind me while I stare at this picture of my kid smiling and in all his glory finishing this race. I will have big tears in my eyes and a heart full of running memories. 

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