Moving Forward...life before, during and after a meniscus transplant

 This past week kind of wrecked me! There were extreme highs and lows, and everything in between, and by last night I was just done! Quite literally I was unable to feel anything...depleted of feelings. I was sick to my stomach. I could not stay awake past 9pm.  What about this week was so much?  Well, in the span of 5 days I had medical testing with my youngest kiddo, my dog almost died in quite a dramatic fashion, I had my 6 month knee checkup, waited on test results for the aforementioned kiddo for 3 days, attended terribly sad funeral for a friend’s son, and late yesterday got unexpectedly great news about the kiddo’s testing. Sprinkle in going to work, some hard conversations, some running-related emotion, keeping the household going...it was a lot. In the end my kid will be ok and the dog is alive, but I really struggled with how intense everything was all week.  The great news about Aaron came around 6pm last night and I was certainly happy and relieved and grateful he was ok, b

My oldest son is training for the Broad St. Run, which is a huge 10 mile race through Philadelphia. It was a last minute decision simply because the option wasn’t offered to him until last minute. His school is new, and they got a last minute spot with Students Run Philly.   I’ve been trying to be encouraging without being pushy. Trying so hard to not impose my running desires on him. Being as casual as I can be about running (casual about running? Come on now). He’s asked me a couple of times why I’m not “making” him do the runs, and instead leaving it up to him. Maybe I’m a better actress than I thought.   Today he did a 7.5 mile treadmill run at a 10 min/mile pace. And aside from a cramp or two, felt great and LIKED  it! Next weekend he has an 8.5 mile run planned, and the race is the following Sunday. I told him how proud I am of how well he’s doing, and how unexpected it is that he’s taken an interest in running.  This is him running today, mile 5 (he was shirtless so I scribbled

I have some things on my mind. Who doesn’t, right?  But sometimes when I have thoughts that persist over days, writing them down is helpful. It gives them a place to be. They still exist somewhere, but they don’t take up mental space and energy.  So without further ado, and in no particular order, I give you: My Thoughts.  My Body This whole process (I hate the word journey BTW, so journey might be an appropriate word to use here, but unless I’m talking about the band, you won’t hear me use that word, and will probably see me roll my eyes if someone describes something as being a “journey”)...sorry, a bit of a tangent there.  Let me start over! This whole process, going from runner to surgical patient to rehabbing my knee to what will I be next, has been stressful in a number of ways. Probably the most constant but somewhat hidden stress has been my relationship with my body. I’ve had a long (39 years) tumultuous relationship with my body. I know, who hasn’t? But it has taken me a real

Thursday marked 23 weeks since surgery. I have not been paying a ton of attention anymore to the number each week, but 23 is my favorite number, so I paid attention this week!  And what a week it has been....! It started Monday with getting booted from Physical Therapy. I then walked to and from work 4 (FOUR) days in a row!   And also this: I am SO close to doing a pull-up. SO close!  I have 7 weeks (holy shit! I turn 40 seven weeks from today) to get my chin a little farther up!  Hopefully I’ll get there!

Well, I got kicked out of Physical Therapy today! Marty gave me a big hug and told me not to come back unless I just want to say hi... He warned me about this at my last appointment, but it was pretty surreal. So much about this whole ordeal has been scary and emotional and he was one constant that kept me grounded. I saw him often.  He knew me and what I could/couldn’t do and kept me from injuring myself. He pushed me and motivated me. He reeled me back in when I went too far. Somehow he understood me early on, and just knew how to keep me moving, and really used that to get me to this point.  He took me from the above picture, to what I am today. I’m so grateful he was in charge of my recovery! Anyone who has needed medical help can tell you that having professionals that you trust and that work with you makes ALL the difference in the world. I would not be doing so well if Marty hadn’t been my PT...I’m certain of it. I told him that (through tears this morning) and he insisted it wa

So I exercised today!   I mean, really exercised!  I went to the gym and did a total-body strength/weight circuit, and then cardio. My heart rate was elevated, and I was a sweaty mess, and it was exhilarating! It’s been a week or so that I’ve been “allowed” to. Marty (PT) only recently told me to trust my body and how I feel and move forward with cardio exercises. Obviously I have to stay within my knee restrictions still, so I can only do certain leg exercises...and biking is really the only cardio I can do right now, but still! Of course though, this past week since being given the “go ahead” to exercise has been completely nutty (although I feel like most weeks feel that way anymore) and I haven’t had time. Weights and my knee exercises take a LOT of time, and then add cardio and I need like 2 hours at the gym.  Who’s got that kind of time? So today I chose a good (I hoped) workout over sleep.  This was at the end of my workout. And I felt SO good! I did weights and strength stuff f

Wow.  Somehow it’s been 5 months (11/2-4/2) or 21+ weeks since my surgery. It’s funny because the more time that’s passed, the more I’m confident that “preservation surgery” is the more appropriate term for what I had done rather than “salvage surgery.” Overall it really feels good and my pain level is almost always zero! I still feel the weird grinding feeling but it’s either not as pronounced or I’m used to it now.  What’s new since month 4? Not much really, which is actually great because there really isn’t supposed to be much to say at this point. Slowly moving forward some weeks, staying at status-quo other weeks. The result is a slightly stronger and more reliable knee at the 5 month mark.  I kicked some serious ass in PT this month, although most of it was done on my own time. Marty had me stretching 2 weeks between appointments so I could see how well I could manage my own exercises. He wanted to see if I could listen to my body, modify things based on how my knee felt, not wor