Moving Forward...life before, during and after a meniscus transplant

So I was going through my phone pictures this afternoon, looking for a quote I had set aside weeks ago, that fit perfectly with how I was feeling at the moment... ~spoiler alert: I was fuming angry and wanted to punch something, or run- run fast. It would’ve been one of those runs where I only had 7 1/2 minutes to run, so I would run a mile as fast as I could and amaze myself with how fast I can run when I’m angry, and I would suddenly realize that I wasn’t really angry anymore, and I’d be so grateful to have running to help me.  ...so I was looking for the quote I knew I had, and I came upon this picture instead... ...and I truly burst into tears.  Tears of pride. Tears of jealousy. Tears of “oh my god what I wouldn’t give to run like that again.” This is my own kid.  Finishing his first 10K.  Beaming with pride. It is such an awesome picture, and it was just bad luck that I came upon it when I did. Maybe not really bad luck though, because in a weird way it feels good to feel strong

I went to the gym today, for the first time since I mysteriously destroyed my knee by standing up from my desk...that was a little over 5 weeks ago. I didn’t love going to the gym (I would always rather be outside), but the cardio felt good and I enjoyed watching my knee get stronger every week. So this “setback” really set me back mentally with regard to my feelings about the gym.  What’s the point? I can’t do anything with my legs, what else is there? So instead, I’ve done a lot of napping, something I almost NEVER do despite my crazy work hours. And some of you might think, “that’s good, sounds like self-care to me.” And maybe napping is part self-care but it has turned into self-loathing (loathing may be too harsh of a word, but it fits nicely in the sentence so just go with it). I have begun to worry that napping, and the need to nap, is a sign of depression creeping in... ‘Tis the season, right?! So today I allowed myself to nap AND then I went to the gym. And it felt good and I

Wow... It’s been more than 2 months since I last wrote. How does that happen? Well, I’ll tell you that life is moving in fast forward motion and I am running around (not literally, although I wish!) trying to keep up.  Somehow Halloween happened and I barely remember it...well, that may be because of the bottle of wine I drank that night, but still. Eyeless jack Aaron and Sara the Turtle Work...great but busy. I got a promotion and a raise since I last wrote. Yay! Kids...great but busy. Both are doing well with grades but requiring a lot of support and time from me with afterschool activities. We adopted another dog somehow. Well, I know how it happened, but adding another mammal to our home for me to care for was not part of any plan I had.  My 1 year surgery-versary came and went. I anticipated writing some big epic gushing post about how grateful I was to be feeling so great, but unfortunately I was not feeling well, and my knee was (still is) completely jacked, and I couldn’t bring