Are you there Blog? It’s me, Sara...

Wow...
It’s been more than 2 months since I last wrote.
How does that happen?

Well, I’ll tell you that life is moving in fast forward motion and I am running around (not literally, although I wish!) trying to keep up. 

Somehow Halloween happened and I barely remember it...well, that may be because of the bottle of wine I drank that night, but still.

Eyeless jack Aaron and Sara the Turtle

Work...great but busy. I got a promotion and a raise since I last wrote. Yay!

Kids...great but busy. Both are doing well with grades but requiring a lot of support and time from me with afterschool activities.

We adopted another dog somehow. Well, I know how it happened, but adding another mammal to our home for me to care for was not part of any plan I had. 


My 1 year surgery-versary came and went. I anticipated writing some big epic gushing post about how grateful I was to be feeling so great, but unfortunately I was not feeling well, and my knee was (still is) completely jacked, and I couldn’t bring myself to write anything. 
I will get to what’s wrong with my knee in a bit... :-(

So as life is hurtling past me and I can barely keep up, where does writing fit into all of that?  While I find writing/blogging very cathartic, I really don’t have time to stop and write for an hour.
 
Well, that’s bull-shit. 
Writing is a form of self-care for me and I’ve somehow gone from making time for it to deciding that I don’t have time for it. 
Stop it Sara!

So I’m sitting here icing my knee, drinking a beer (it’s almost 5pm, don’t judge) and snuggling with my 9 year old while he watches an impossibly annoying cartoon. So I should write. So I am. 
See, I can self-care.



What’s wrong with my knee? I don’t really know except that it hurts, it’s swollen, and something keeps popping in it with every step I take. AND, the pain and problem area is on the lateral side of my knee...the one part of my knee that has never had a problem before. 

And guess what else...

I need surgery again...

on my knee...

and I’m so freakin bummed about it.

MRI showed nothing definitive, but was not normal. Foreign body? Torn cartilage somewhere? 
Was told to rest and come back in a few weeks if no better. 

This all happened 2 weeks before my one year surgery-versary...and started when I stood up from my desk at work one night. Knee locked, and it hasn’t been the same since. 

I was told to put an x exactly where it was locking and send Dr. Z the picture. Nowhere near where he operated, which is good, but still something is wrong. 
FUCK!
sorry, I had to get that out...

I’m trying my damndest to stay positive, but I’m anxious about this. I did everything right. I followed all the rules. I rehabbed exactly like I was supposed to. And sometimes you just can’t control what ultimately happens. 


My lack of gym time/exercise/pain-free-days is really getting to me. I got a taste of how good I could feel, and am really anxious to get back there! 

Thanks for reading and caring! 
Surgery is set for 12/4/18...

 However reluctantly...I got this. 



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