Anticipation...(sung like Carly Simon for the full effect)

If POD5 had been the most exciting day so far in this process (I showered for the first time, bandages came off, got out of the house to vote), then POD13 (today) was the next most exciting day! 

The anticipation of today was almost too much to take. Today was my first post-op appointment!  I don’t remember anything Dr. Z had to say while I was in recovery, and I felt pretty shitty when he called me in the hospital, so today was the “look at how far I’ve come, and what do I get to do now” appointment. It was also the “take these nasty stitches out” visit!

I had nervous butterflies in my stomach and got to my appointment 45 minutes early. I brought shorts to change into for the exam and had my binder of instructions with me just in case I got some fun new instructions to add. I am admittedly a total dork, and am far too prepared for shit like this. Dr. Z finds it wildly amusing, Lisa (the PA) gives me a knowing nod because she would do exactly the same thing, I’m sure of it. 

Dr. Z came in and gave me a huge bear hug (which was seriously the nicest thing ever, I mean who wouldn’t love a hug from the person who’s seen the inside if your knee, twice, and who you’ve put all of your trust in to give you a favorable outcome??). He was happy to see me and excited to see how well I was doing. Lisa was there too, and I feel like she’s someone I would’ve loved running with. She’s thorough and kind and understanding and punctual...and she’s a runner, and got very upset when we talked about me never running again at one of my earlier appointments.

Stitches came out, steri-strips went on to keep the edges approximated, and we watched some video of the surgery (he tried to show it to me in recovery but I was too out of it). Pretty damn incredible to watch a video of them operating on my knee. Crazy incredible. Lisa also showed me a picture of the donor meniscus just before they put it in my knee. Obviously I asked her to send it to me!

So this is the meniscus. Pretty good looking. I’m hoping that all of the great immediate post-op success equates to longevity and a full 10 years with my knee as it is now. But because this is a relatively new procedure, it’s hard to see a true correlation. Sometimes, if it’s going to fail it’ll fail, regardless of how good you are at rehabbing it. 

So that was it. Relatively quick appointment because thankfully I’m doing great and there’s been no...knock on wood...complications. 

Dr. Z: So get dressed, great job, see you in a month.

Me: but wait, what else can I do, what’s next?

Dr. Z: continue the non-weight bearing, and keep working on your flexion. 

Me: really? A month of just this?

And no goodbye hug. Boo. 

Yeah I left feeling totally deflated, although I know (having memorized it) that this is exactly what the rehab protocol says. I just really thought there had to be more to it. But there isn’t. And I’m feeling bummed. Which feels ridiculous, because I should be feeling great about the fact that I’m doing as well as I could hope for... 

and I am

...but owning the feelings I have, naming them, and recognizing where they are coming from, ultimately helps me manage them. The good and the bad. 

I remember after my ACL surgery in 2011 being very sad during recovery. 

Once you’re past the initial “holy shit I just had surgery” phase, you’re in a place where you aren’t yourself, and you don’t know how long it’ll take to be yourself again, and there’s no one around you who can really understand. At least then, I had running to look forward to once I was rehabbed. So it’s no wonder I’m bummed. 

A month until I see Dr. Z

A month more of non-weight bearing

A month more of asking for people to bring me coffee, and wine, because those aren’t things you can should chug while standing in the kitchen 

4 weeks. Does that sound better or worse than a month?

Anyways. Here’s my knee(s) today. 

Maybe if it looked nastier it would be easier to tolerate the non-weight bearing status...maybe. 

Also, I have some pretty impressive crutch callouses. 

I know, you’re totally jealous. These were earned over the past 13 days. What will they look like on day 42???  Stay tuned...you know I’ll share the picture. 

I’m off to get some wine and serve my family some amazing food that my mom left in our freezer. If I haven’t mentioned how grateful I am for a freezer full of food already, I’m immensely grateful. I would post a picture of how much food we have, but that would mean I have to crutch downstairs...and that’s not happening.