The good feelings far outshine the bad

I should be taking a nap. 
I promised myself I would nap each day this week. 
I swore I would work on my sleep hygiene (that is a really hideous term) now that I started back to work. 

But I can’t sleep and I feel really good. 
So as much as this blog helps me vent my woes, I want to document the great days too. 

The funny thing about this whole no running/surgery/rehab process is that the smallest most insignificant details can either make me happy as can be, or completely take the wind out of my sails. 

Today was a happy as can be kind of day.

I went to PT expecting more of the same...
*how far can you flex passively (100 degrees is the answer...2 weeks ahead of schedule)?
*straight leg raises face up, face down, and side lying
*watching me crutch with 20lbs of weight bearing on the L leg
*what’s your pain level? 
*any heel height differential on extension?
...looks good, see you next week. 
And I got that all, and Marty got to the part where he was going to say see you next week and he paused and looked at me. Then he offered me 2 more exercises if I do them in moderation and with care. I know I don’t hide my emotions well, so I wonder what kind of look I had on my face that told him I’d be crushed frustrated with more of the same. 

Bottom line is that I am allowed to do active leg extensions to 45 degrees (from a starting angle of 90 degrees) and clam shells. Doesn’t sound like much, but progress is progress!  And my left leg muscles were actually tired after doing them AND I’m doing enough that he wants me to ice after!
  
That’s not all!  I will increase to 2x a week PT after next week, and by the end of December I’ll be walking.
 That is really exciting. 
I mean, obviously, I knew I’d walk again. 
But having Marty speak about that now feels exciting and promising and tangible. 

And as much as I’m proud of the callouses I’ve formed on these hands, I’m excited to get back to walking without crutches. 




****finally fell asleep for that nap with these two****


So going back to work last night went well. I felt slow and tired just getting to my office. The hospital feels a lot bigger than it did when I used my two feet to get me around! I’m excited to have a routine again, and I got some super exciting work news today which has me all pumped and eager to hit the ground running walking crutching!

So...
2 days until the 4 week post-op mark.
2 days until I stop sleeping in the brace. 
2 days until I say goodbye to the CPM 
(which has been giving me some strange psychoanalyzing type messages recently)
I laughed when I saw this error message, but also felt like maybe the machine is getting too close to me and it’s time for it to go!

That’s all. Happy day for me. Thanks for reading and caring and cheering me along!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Overwhelmed, in a good way!

Image
Me, this morning, with Dr. Z and Lisa Well, this was a pleasant surprise!  I’m discharged from Dr. Z’s care! I know, right?!   Hearing him say it didn’t feel real.  Typing it doesn’t make it feel real.  But it’s real! This morning I went for my 9 month post-op appointment. I couldn’t wait to tell Dr. Z about the 100k bike race. I couldn’t wait to tell him that I can walk 7 miles at once. I couldn’t wait to tell him that most days when I get up in the morning, my knee is not the first thing I feel or notice or think about.  Once he picked his jaw up off the ground, and hugged me, and congratulated me, and looked at the x-rays, and examined my knee, he told me that I’m doing better than he could’ve ever hoped and that there’s nothing else he needs to do for me.  What???  “Are you sure? I thought we were going to be together for 18 months, at least...” He’s sure.  I’ve had no setbacks.  I’ve had no complications.  I’ve had consistent forward progress.  I can do things pain free and swelli
Read more

End of the year, part 1

Image
One of my very favorite parts of the end of the year is tallying my running mileage, considering my goals-met, and thinking of goals for the next year. It’s very exciting to look back and relive the good and the not-so-good from the year. Inevitably I scroll through my pictures month by month with a huge smile on my face.  “Oh, I forgot about that race” “I can’t believe I PR’d in that humidity” “Thank goodness I didn’t give up and just swam through the tears” Obviously this year is really different.  I’m struggling to reconcile how happy I am in what I did accomplish running, with how terribly disappointed I am in what happened to my knee, with how proud I am of my recovery so far.  It’s impossible to come up with one primary feeling to cover it all...so I decided to not try and reconcile the feelings. I’ll let them be separate and not equal.  As A Runner As a runner I had a great year. It ended on 7/31 with a total of 862 miles. But up until then I really had an incredible year that I
Read more

Wistful vs Wishful

Image
The word Wishful  means to have hope for something.  The word Wistful means to have a melancholy longing for something. The words are so close, just one letter off, but they have very different meanings. This image very accurately depicts my mood lately.  Definitely more wistful than wishful.  Wistful for nice weather, running, running, running, doing anything that makes me feel like I am doing something physical! ************************************ My husband would likely argue that this picture is a far more accurate depiction of my mood lately, but this is my blog so I choose wistful kitten over raging bitch cat... ************************************* Regardless of which cat persona you go with, both are how I’ve felt lately (maybe one more than the other, but that’s not the point). And consider this fair warning in case you bump into me on the street...but actually try not to bump into me, my knee is still fragile and that’s a sure-fire way to see
Read more