Moving Forward...life before, during and after a meniscus transplant

Ok.  I gave myself a week of feeling like mental poop.  I didn’t want to.  But fighting it, trying to smile and be all self-supportive, just made me cry more.  I felt it coming...it started when my PT said to keep doing what I’m doing, and I was sad because there was no forward movement (really Sara??). And the next day my doctor told me everything looks great and to come back in a month, and I cried because a month felt like forever (no, really Sara??).  So I could tell this was coming.  I HATE feeling like that. I HATE being that person. But fighting it literally does me no good.  It’s fun to say, “I’m riding the struggle bus” and people can imagine some goofy run-down bus with no one in control, driving around erratically... It’s humorous, but it sucks. And I hate the feeling. And I hate giving in to the feeling. My biggest fear is that it won’t stop, the mental slump, the “I hate everyone and everything” feeling. In my mind I feel like, ‘ok, I’m on...

One thing that running gave me, maybe one of the more important things, was the ability to reset my mental/emotional state. For better or worse, I feel things strongly and sometimes have a hard time "letting it go," to quote a certain Disney princess.  Up until a few weeks ago, I could be feeling any sort of way about anything, and after I went for a run (usually a fast 3 mile one) I was calm and collected and felt balanced again. I felt like I was the luckiest and smartest person ever to have found a way to use the thing I loved doing to keep me physically AND mentally fit.  Genius!  And I know I will find something to take the place of running, both physically and mentally. And even if I don't ever love it like I love(d) running, I will make it work, because I need it to work.  But in the immediate time, and for the next several (too many to think about) months, I have to keep my head together myself. I have days where I feel pretty skilled and p...