Moving Forward...life before, during and after a meniscus transplant

Saturday was my 4 months (by calendar) since surgery anniversary. Or 17 weeks plus a few days. It’s funny because I noticed that I’ve stopped focusing on Thursdays (the surgery was on a Thursday) as a measure of time for me. Thursdays have meant (leading up to the surgery) “x number of weeks left until surgery” and since surgery Thursday has been my post-op count up. Count up to what, I have no clue (biking, swimming, walking around wherever I want). I think because the milestones seem so spaced out at this point, I’m losing interest in the counting.  Last week was a frustrating week. I had this weird lateral posterior L knee pain that came out of nowhere on Monday. No weird twists or turns, slip and falls, no extra walking,etc. to explain the pain but damn if it didn’t hurt like hell! I took the whole week off of rehabbing the knee, everything I tried to do hurt, so I just rested. Rest helped. When I saw Marty on Friday for PT he suggested it was hamstring strain from the leg...

I went to PT this morning and got sent home after 6 minutes on the bike. It sounds like I’m being reprimanded for being bad or something!  No, I was having too much pain. And my knee is swollen even though it was first thing in the morning. So I got sent home.  I’m not even sure what I did to it. It being my knee.   PT lady said it could be the weather which has been fluctuating between high 50’s and winter cold with snow showers seemingly every other day. Regardless, I woke up today feeling sore in my knee and thigh, and my first step down the stairs hurt like hell. So I am icing it, and resting (as much as a mom rests), and pouting, and will try PT again Thursday. This is a really weird space to be in, physically and mentally. Still in the upside down I guess. I’m really trying to focus on the progress I’m making, but the progress is frustratingly slow and microscopic...which is what I was told this would be like. But being told how something is going to ...

More random ramblings about how the last few months have unfolded. I'm grateful that writing  typing has been so therapeutic. It's helps me organize my mind a bit. So here's what's on my brain today: June 14 is when I went to Dr. Z to find out the results of the Arthrogram that was done on my knee just the week before.   Just 3 days before this appointment (June 11), I completed a Half Ironman. My first and only. I felt invincible.  I went to the appointment with some knowledge of what the test showed (thanks to the e-chart app which allows for instant access to your own medical info).  The summary said some things I didn't understand. But it mentioned "major meniscus defect and ACL tear." Those are terms I understood.  I had expected meniscus damage, but the ACL threw me for a loop. The meniscus was the "easy" injury in my mind. The ACL meant a bigger surgery and harder recovery. The irony is that the meniscus damage is the irreparable part and ...

My morning: I'm sitting in the hallway at our synagogue, reading a pretty incredible book, in a window seat that suits me just fine. There's coffee, there's nice people passing by, my kids will be done with Hebrew School soon.  I'm feeling kind of down.  Lonely. Sad. In a lot of pain.  It's ok, I'm really ok.  It's good to be aware, and not afraid, of feelings that aren't the picture of positivity.  A person approached me to say hi... this is someone I've known for many years, and we've talked about any number of things, but I wouldn't think that he knew me particularly well... ...until he started a conversation that caused me to believe otherwise. He described his perception of a topic that pertained to ME , specifically, and it instantly lifted my mood.  He does know me!  I held back tears (worried he might never approach me again if I started crying right then) and thanked him for sharing with me and for bei...