Moving Forward...life before, during and after a meniscus transplant

So I exercised today!   I mean, really exercised!  I went to the gym and did a total-body strength/weight circuit, and then cardio. My heart rate was elevated, and I was a sweaty mess, and it was exhilarating! It’s been a week or so that I’ve been “allowed” to. Marty (PT) only recently told me to trust my body and how I feel and move forward with cardio exercises. Obviously I have to stay within my knee restrictions still, so I can only do certain leg exercises...and biking is really the only cardio I can do right now, but still! Of course though, this past week since being given the “go ahead” to exercise has been completely nutty (although I feel like most weeks feel that way anymore) and I haven’t had time. Weights and my knee exercises take a LOT of time, and then add cardio and I need like 2 hours at the gym.  Who’s got that kind of time? So today I chose a good (I hoped) workout over sleep.  This was at the end of my workout. And I felt SO good! I did weights a...

Wow.  Somehow it’s been 5 months (11/2-4/2) or 21+ weeks since my surgery. It’s funny because the more time that’s passed, the more I’m confident that “preservation surgery” is the more appropriate term for what I had done rather than “salvage surgery.” Overall it really feels good and my pain level is almost always zero! I still feel the weird grinding feeling but it’s either not as pronounced or I’m used to it now.  What’s new since month 4? Not much really, which is actually great because there really isn’t supposed to be much to say at this point. Slowly moving forward some weeks, staying at status-quo other weeks. The result is a slightly stronger and more reliable knee at the 5 month mark.  I kicked some serious ass in PT this month, although most of it was done on my own time. Marty had me stretching 2 weeks between appointments so I could see how well I could manage my own exercises. He wanted to see if I could listen to my body, modify things based on how my knee...

Saturday was my 4 months (by calendar) since surgery anniversary. Or 17 weeks plus a few days. It’s funny because I noticed that I’ve stopped focusing on Thursdays (the surgery was on a Thursday) as a measure of time for me. Thursdays have meant (leading up to the surgery) “x number of weeks left until surgery” and since surgery Thursday has been my post-op count up. Count up to what, I have no clue (biking, swimming, walking around wherever I want). I think because the milestones seem so spaced out at this point, I’m losing interest in the counting.  Last week was a frustrating week. I had this weird lateral posterior L knee pain that came out of nowhere on Monday. No weird twists or turns, slip and falls, no extra walking,etc. to explain the pain but damn if it didn’t hurt like hell! I took the whole week off of rehabbing the knee, everything I tried to do hurt, so I just rested. Rest helped. When I saw Marty on Friday for PT he suggested it was hamstring strain from the leg...

I went to PT this morning and got sent home after 6 minutes on the bike. It sounds like I’m being reprimanded for being bad or something!  No, I was having too much pain. And my knee is swollen even though it was first thing in the morning. So I got sent home.  I’m not even sure what I did to it. It being my knee.   PT lady said it could be the weather which has been fluctuating between high 50’s and winter cold with snow showers seemingly every other day. Regardless, I woke up today feeling sore in my knee and thigh, and my first step down the stairs hurt like hell. So I am icing it, and resting (as much as a mom rests), and pouting, and will try PT again Thursday. This is a really weird space to be in, physically and mentally. Still in the upside down I guess. I’m really trying to focus on the progress I’m making, but the progress is frustratingly slow and microscopic...which is what I was told this would be like. But being told how something is going to ...

5 weeks.  It feels like 5 years... and at the same time... hasn’t it only been 5 days? Things are going really well.  Luckily that’s been the case from the get go.   It helps to have a great trusting relationship with my surgeon. It helps also that he’s dedicated and skilled at what he does. I’ve healed well thanks to being healthy and strong long before the surgery. And rehab has been successful because of my great PT guy Marty, and the fact that I’m dedicated to doing it right and getting the best outcome possible.  I am weary though.   This has been physically and mentally challenging.  There are days I feel strong as hell, and days I want to stay in bed and cry. Going back to work has been great but incredibly exhausting.  I cringe anymore when people ask me “what happened” with regard to my knee. I either get comments that get under my skin and make me want to run away (as if!) or I get amazing amounts of empathy that make me want to cry. Theres a...

When I started writing this (Thursday) it was POD28, or 4 weeks since surgery. A couple of big (to me) things have happened.  1) I can sleep without my brace overnight! 2) The CPM machine is no more!   On Sleeping Without A Brace While it certainly feels more freeing, I wake up many times with “ouch” feelings. Not being held still in one place obviously means I will move my leg around now while asleep, and some positions don’t feel good!  It’s still very swollen and stiff in general, so it doesn’t bend much anyway. Like everything else with this process, the little bits of progress will take time to adjust to. I had visions of immediately sleeping on my side and getting the most rested sleep ever as soon as I didn’t need the brace overnight. Ahhhh...fantasy thinking at its best! On Saying Goodbye to the CPM While I don’t love the CPM, it is somewhat comforting knowing that the machine gradually increases the angle of flexion and I just sit back and micro-manage my house f...

It’s been more than 3 weeks since my surgery and I’m gearing up to head back to work on Monday. Aside from the emotional struggles, I’d say the physical side of this situation has been better than expected. It helps to be young(ish) and in shape(ish) ahead of time, but also it helps that I’m determined to do what I can, regardless of the crutches. For better or worse, that’s my personality and being independent is a huge part of what makes me, me.  I’ve had to slow down. Obviously. Falling would be the worst thing (I’ve been reminded of this many times by the medical team), so I have to remind myself to think about what I’m planning on doing before I do it. But there is very little I haven’t been able to do while non-weight bearing.  I grocery shopped alone once. This was humorous and I was planning to try and crutch and push a real cart but that really was not working. So the store had scooters and I used one! For a bigger trip, I took one of my kids who pushed the ...

Ok.  I gave myself a week of feeling like mental poop.  I didn’t want to.  But fighting it, trying to smile and be all self-supportive, just made me cry more.  I felt it coming...it started when my PT said to keep doing what I’m doing, and I was sad because there was no forward movement (really Sara??). And the next day my doctor told me everything looks great and to come back in a month, and I cried because a month felt like forever (no, really Sara??).  So I could tell this was coming.  I HATE feeling like that. I HATE being that person. But fighting it literally does me no good.  It’s fun to say, “I’m riding the struggle bus” and people can imagine some goofy run-down bus with no one in control, driving around erratically... It’s humorous, but it sucks. And I hate the feeling. And I hate giving in to the feeling. My biggest fear is that it won’t stop, the mental slump, the “I hate everyone and everything” feeling. In my mind I feel like, ‘ok, I’m on...

In more ways than one, I feel like my mental/emotional self is finally catching up to the idea that this is going to be a long recovery. My first several days post-op were somewhat disorienting as I felt significant improvement every 24 hours. In my mind, I felt like “if I keep this up, I’ll be feeling 100% in no time at all.”  Magical thinking, maybe.  Necessary thinking to get me past the first week, probably.  I’m just one day past the 2 week mark (POD15) at this point. There is no longer obvious daily improvement, which is ok, and there have been no setbacks, which is amazing.  Ever since my post-op appointment, I’ve had a hard time with the idea that my next “milestone” is a month away, at my next post-op appointment. I reached out to Lisa (the amazing PA working with Dr. Z) yesterday, because I was struggling mentally. I asked her for some clarification about the protocol which pointed to some changes starting at the 4 week post-op mark. Yes, in fact there are ...

If POD5 had been the most exciting day so far in this process (I showered for the first time, bandages came off, got out of the house to vote), then POD13 (today) was the next most exciting day!  The anticipation of today was almost too much to take. Today was my first post-op appointment!  I don’t remember anything Dr. Z had to say while I was in recovery, and I felt pretty shitty when he called me in the hospital, so today was the “look at how far I’ve come, and what do I get to do now” appointment. It was also the “take these nasty stitches out” visit! I had nervous butterflies in my stomach and got to my appointment 45 minutes early. I brought shorts to change into for the exam and had my binder of instructions with me just in case I got some fun new instructions to add. I am admittedly a total dork, and am far too prepared for shit like this. Dr. Z finds it wildly amusing, Lisa (the PA) gives me a knowing nod because she would do exactly the same thing, I’m sure of it....

POD 11 This was the first morning since before surgery that I had to do the “morning routine” alone. Husband leaves for work at the crack of dawn M,T, and Th...so I was on my own today. I woke up earlier than usual, because everything takes longer to accomplish.... I haven’t quite figured out how much longer...it doesn’t seem to be a uniform percentage...but it’s longer for sure... And when I wake up, it takes several minutes to wake up enough to use crutches. There’s no jumping out of bed and crutching away...I really have to wait until I’m feeling steady on my feet  foot.  So I woke up immediately feeling overwhelmed and irritated by the fact that simple things (like the morning school routine) now feel like enormous tasks. I know, boo-hoo, I’m totally whining. But I’ve kept a positive attitude 98% of the past 11 days, so let me whine. It all went fine this morning, I even made Aaron a homemade waffle which he’s been deprived of  going without the last several days. How...

I am feeling worlds better than I expected to feel at this point. And it’s a huge relief.  I’ve read about some pretty bad struggles after a meniscus transplant, and it was hard to find ANY accounts of having all 3 surgeries (meniscus, ACL and MACI) done at once...so I expected the worst. Dr. Z prepared me for the worst. But I’m really grateful for how well it has gone so far! Technical Knee Stuff *I am focused on properly maintaining my non-weight bearing status. It’s hard, especially since I don’t have much pain. There’s little to remind me that I shouldn’t put my foot down. I don’t wear a shoe on my left foot. That’s helpful. The few times my foot has rested on the ground, there’s a pins and needles kind of sensation that I feel. That certainly reminds me to pick my foot up! *I am trying to figure out how to make progress and rest and recover all at once. On POD10, I’m at 85 degrees flexion, and I’m making sure to work on my extension as well. Although it looks (like in the pict...

This week has been a doozy. I knew it would be, but you can only be so prepared and then you just have to wait and see what reality brings... Thursday morning last week, I walked to the hospital for my surgery. I wanted/needed to walk there.  I’m glad it was beautiful weather.  There were a lot of runners out, and I kept thinking how perfect the weather was for running.  I listened to the song ‘Walk’ by the Foo Fighters. This song means a million things to me. It’s representative of me recovering from an eating disorder, it’s me thriving despite living with anxiety and depression, it’s me putting in the hard work to advance my education/career, and it’s me literally learning to walk again after this knee surgery.    Pennsylvania Hospital is so beautiful. I’m really grateful to work there and to have been a patient there. This is my knee before they took me to pre-op. Scarred already from previous surgeries, and relatively busted on the inside. I’m grateful for t...