Moving Forward...life before, during and after a meniscus transplant

One week to go.  I feel like it has been forever that I’ve been waiting to move past this surgery, and at the same time I don’t want it to be this close already.  In truth I am ready, in terms of practical life stuff.  The house has groceries, the ironing is all done, the warm weather/cold weather clothing swap has happened, the house is scrubbed, the dogs are bathed and groomed, the kids’ flu shots have been given, the beds have clean sheets on them, my recovery area is set up, the car got an oil change and has a full gas tank, my work details are sorted out, the plan for getting my kids to and fro is in place, the hospital overnight bag is packed, the first physical therapy appointment is booked, the post-op brace has been fitted to my leg.... I’m probably forgetting something, but I really tried to get as much done as I could. Maybe being immobile will be easier knowing this is all done. And maybe focusing on all of this has helped me not dwell on my non-runner status....

The first time I encountered a cadaver was in nursing school. We had a gross anatomy lab and dissected a full cadaver to learn some hands-on lessons about the human body. The body was of an elderly woman and I remember thinking it was incredible that someone donated their body just so I could learn. Beyond organ donation (which I knew about), it never really occurred to me that people donated body parts for reasons other than learning purposes (like cadaver lab). I didn't know that bones and ligaments and heart valves and veins and skin can be frozen and used to help improve the quality of life of the living. It certainly never occurred to me that I might ever have cadaver parts sewn into me.  For my first ACL surgery (7 years ago), I had cadaver tendons used to replace my torn anterior cruciate ligament. I'm somewhat  embarrassed to say that I didn't think much of it. I wanted my knee fixed and the "donated tissue" being used to fix it wasn't even ...

I'm a sucker for knowing as much as I can about different things that roll into my life. Sometimes that's a good thing ( knowledge is power ), and sometimes that's a bad thing ( that time I researched the details of the surgery my oldest son needed to remove a benign tumor in his inner ear ).  I consider myself lucky that, as a medical person, I understand anatomy and physiology and know what and who to ask, and where to look for the best information. So here's the rundown on what I've learned about this knee surgery I have coming up. This is as much for me as it is for anyone else. If anyone in the future is frantically looking for meniscal transplant surgery info like I was 2 months ago, and stumbles on this blog, this post will be a good resource for them. The other blogs I have perused regarding this topic were focused on recovery and return to activity. There was very little technical info. And I like the technical stuff! Once I understand it, the su...

I'm pretty comfortable with the concept of fear, or with being afraid.  I am afraid of clowns. Have been for as long as I can remember. Ironically, I had a picture of a clown painted on the inside of my crib. There are pictures of me as an infant (see below) looking at the clown and smiling. My mom says I used to "talk" to the clown. I personally think that the painted clown started talking back to me and scared the shit out of me, which explains my fear of them. I have no proof, but that seems like as plausible an explanation as any other. I very much despise anything that resembles a clown.  I have fears about being a parent and parenting my boys. Fear for their physical safety and well-being. Fear for their mental and emotional well-being. Fear that they won't be happy, or at the very least productive, humans. Fear that they will grow up to be assholes. Fear that they will resent me.  These are all legitimate fears that probably most mothers feel ...

Today I was discharged from physical therapy. Less than 2 weeks from surgery #1, a little over 11 weeks until surgery #2.  Marty is my PT guy, and I really like him. He explains the why and how and what to me, rather than just telling me to do x,y, and z exercises. He's going to be with me for the next surgery too. I already gave him the post-op protocol for the big surgery so he has some sense of what's involved (I'm a bit of a proactive planner type of person). He's  excited to see me eventually rehab to pain free and fully functioning.  I've been walking a lot and getting to the Y when I can for weights and time on the stationary bike. I don't like it. I actually hate it a little. It's hard to make myself go. This has never been my activity of choice (anything gym bound), but after my workout yesterday I actually have muscle soreness today. That tells me I'm challenging my muscles, not just working on the bad knee joint.  I always liked the ge...

Change of plans...     No, I'm not going to start running again. I really wish. When I went to my doctor Wednesday to have my stitches out, I wanted him to tell me, "you know what, this really isn't all that bad.  Just run and stop and rest if it hurts."   He did take the stitches out, but he also spent a LOT of time talking to me about what to do next...what surgery to pick to "restore" my knee.   My options were: the meniscus transplant, or the partial knee replacement. After surgery, I found out that the osteoarthritis is much worse than the imaging showed, and my previously repaired ACL is deficient and needs replacing as well.  This makes me a risky complicated meniscus transplant candidate.  The partial knee with ACL repair was the other option.   Honestly the meniscus transplant scared the shit out of me.  It's a gnarly (my friend Courtney's word), long surgery, with a...

 This has become my favorite view.  I have at least a hundred pictures from this exact spot, no two are alike, all are beautiful for different reasons.  This is the Philadelphia skyline as seen from the South Street bridge.  I waited (not so) patiently as the bridge was rebuilt, watched in awe as the boardwalk grew out over the water, and watched numerous buildings stretch into the skyline over the past 14 years.  At any given time, there could be one, two, even three cranes blemishing my beautiful skyline pictures.  There is actually one in this picture as well.   This morning (7/31) was my last run over this bridge. It's not the last time I will see this view, nor the last time I will be on foot on this bridge...but I am no longer going to be running to see the sunrise, or the sunset, or the perfectly blue sky, or the really incredible clouds as seen from this bridge.  There were times where I just felt li...