Moving Forward...life before, during and after a meniscus transplant

Saturday was my 4 months (by calendar) since surgery anniversary. Or 17 weeks plus a few days. It’s funny because I noticed that I’ve stopped focusing on Thursdays (the surgery was on a Thursday) as a measure of time for me. Thursdays have meant (leading up to the surgery) “x number of weeks left until surgery” and since surgery Thursday has been my post-op count up. Count up to what, I have no clue (biking, swimming, walking around wherever I want). I think because the milestones seem so spaced out at this point, I’m losing interest in the counting.  Last week was a frustrating week. I had this weird lateral posterior L knee pain that came out of nowhere on Monday. No weird twists or turns, slip and falls, no extra walking,etc. to explain the pain but damn if it didn’t hurt like hell! I took the whole week off of rehabbing the knee, everything I tried to do hurt, so I just rested. Rest helped. When I saw Marty on Friday for PT he suggested it was hamstring strain from the leg...

I went to PT this morning and got sent home after 6 minutes on the bike. It sounds like I’m being reprimanded for being bad or something!  No, I was having too much pain. And my knee is swollen even though it was first thing in the morning. So I got sent home.  I’m not even sure what I did to it. It being my knee.   PT lady said it could be the weather which has been fluctuating between high 50’s and winter cold with snow showers seemingly every other day. Regardless, I woke up today feeling sore in my knee and thigh, and my first step down the stairs hurt like hell. So I am icing it, and resting (as much as a mom rests), and pouting, and will try PT again Thursday. This is a really weird space to be in, physically and mentally. Still in the upside down I guess. I’m really trying to focus on the progress I’m making, but the progress is frustratingly slow and microscopic...which is what I was told this would be like. But being told how something is going to ...

5 weeks.  It feels like 5 years... and at the same time... hasn’t it only been 5 days? Things are going really well.  Luckily that’s been the case from the get go.   It helps to have a great trusting relationship with my surgeon. It helps also that he’s dedicated and skilled at what he does. I’ve healed well thanks to being healthy and strong long before the surgery. And rehab has been successful because of my great PT guy Marty, and the fact that I’m dedicated to doing it right and getting the best outcome possible.  I am weary though.   This has been physically and mentally challenging.  There are days I feel strong as hell, and days I want to stay in bed and cry. Going back to work has been great but incredibly exhausting.  I cringe anymore when people ask me “what happened” with regard to my knee. I either get comments that get under my skin and make me want to run away (as if!) or I get amazing amounts of empathy that make me want to cry. Theres a...

It’s been more than 3 weeks since my surgery and I’m gearing up to head back to work on Monday. Aside from the emotional struggles, I’d say the physical side of this situation has been better than expected. It helps to be young(ish) and in shape(ish) ahead of time, but also it helps that I’m determined to do what I can, regardless of the crutches. For better or worse, that’s my personality and being independent is a huge part of what makes me, me.  I’ve had to slow down. Obviously. Falling would be the worst thing (I’ve been reminded of this many times by the medical team), so I have to remind myself to think about what I’m planning on doing before I do it. But there is very little I haven’t been able to do while non-weight bearing.  I grocery shopped alone once. This was humorous and I was planning to try and crutch and push a real cart but that really was not working. So the store had scooters and I used one! For a bigger trip, I took one of my kids who pushed the ...

In more ways than one, I feel like my mental/emotional self is finally catching up to the idea that this is going to be a long recovery. My first several days post-op were somewhat disorienting as I felt significant improvement every 24 hours. In my mind, I felt like “if I keep this up, I’ll be feeling 100% in no time at all.”  Magical thinking, maybe.  Necessary thinking to get me past the first week, probably.  I’m just one day past the 2 week mark (POD15) at this point. There is no longer obvious daily improvement, which is ok, and there have been no setbacks, which is amazing.  Ever since my post-op appointment, I’ve had a hard time with the idea that my next “milestone” is a month away, at my next post-op appointment. I reached out to Lisa (the amazing PA working with Dr. Z) yesterday, because I was struggling mentally. I asked her for some clarification about the protocol which pointed to some changes starting at the 4 week post-op mark. Yes, in fact there are ...

If POD5 had been the most exciting day so far in this process (I showered for the first time, bandages came off, got out of the house to vote), then POD13 (today) was the next most exciting day!  The anticipation of today was almost too much to take. Today was my first post-op appointment!  I don’t remember anything Dr. Z had to say while I was in recovery, and I felt pretty shitty when he called me in the hospital, so today was the “look at how far I’ve come, and what do I get to do now” appointment. It was also the “take these nasty stitches out” visit! I had nervous butterflies in my stomach and got to my appointment 45 minutes early. I brought shorts to change into for the exam and had my binder of instructions with me just in case I got some fun new instructions to add. I am admittedly a total dork, and am far too prepared for shit like this. Dr. Z finds it wildly amusing, Lisa (the PA) gives me a knowing nod because she would do exactly the same thing, I’m sure of it....

POD 11 This was the first morning since before surgery that I had to do the “morning routine” alone. Husband leaves for work at the crack of dawn M,T, and Th...so I was on my own today. I woke up earlier than usual, because everything takes longer to accomplish.... I haven’t quite figured out how much longer...it doesn’t seem to be a uniform percentage...but it’s longer for sure... And when I wake up, it takes several minutes to wake up enough to use crutches. There’s no jumping out of bed and crutching away...I really have to wait until I’m feeling steady on my feet  foot.  So I woke up immediately feeling overwhelmed and irritated by the fact that simple things (like the morning school routine) now feel like enormous tasks. I know, boo-hoo, I’m totally whining. But I’ve kept a positive attitude 98% of the past 11 days, so let me whine. It all went fine this morning, I even made Aaron a homemade waffle which he’s been deprived of  going without the last several days. How...

This week has been a doozy. I knew it would be, but you can only be so prepared and then you just have to wait and see what reality brings... Thursday morning last week, I walked to the hospital for my surgery. I wanted/needed to walk there.  I’m glad it was beautiful weather.  There were a lot of runners out, and I kept thinking how perfect the weather was for running.  I listened to the song ‘Walk’ by the Foo Fighters. This song means a million things to me. It’s representative of me recovering from an eating disorder, it’s me thriving despite living with anxiety and depression, it’s me putting in the hard work to advance my education/career, and it’s me literally learning to walk again after this knee surgery.    Pennsylvania Hospital is so beautiful. I’m really grateful to work there and to have been a patient there. This is my knee before they took me to pre-op. Scarred already from previous surgeries, and relatively busted on the inside. I’m grateful for t...

Having been home a short time now, I think I’m getting the hang of how things need to go.... I figured out which crutches/walker/mobility apparatus to keep on which floor for stairs and being mobile around the house. I’m avoiding doing the stairs too frequently because frankly it’s exhausting. I’m afraid to go down them on crutches because I still feel pretty weak, so I slide down on my butt. The kids find this quite amusing!  I can carry some things in my mouth while my hands are occupied with crutches, and other things I need to ask for help when transporting them from one room to another.  I organized my notes and pictures and rehab papers in the binder I got when I was discharged from the hospital. I’ll keep this with me for PT and doctor appointments so I can keep track of everything. This binder concept has an inside back-story among anyone who works at Pennsy but I have to say I was excited to get it and have a place for all of the papers I have related to my knee (pre-...

Phew. Surgery is over.  Thursday was by far the hardest, longest, and most painful day I’ve ever had. Thursday night I wished I hadn’t done the surgery, had opted for a knee replacement instead, and pretty much wanted to die.  I’m not exaggerating.  But just one day later, I cannot believe how much better I feel. Every hour I feel stronger and more like myself. Still a lot of pain, but the anesthesia is slowly getting out of my system so I feel less shaky and blurry minded.  Dr. Z called me this morning in the hospital (I was too out of it to talk yesterday and he has clinic today, so he called me between patients).  The surgery was extremely successful. The meniscus fit near perfectly, my new ACL is strong and attached in the right place, and the cartilage they grew from my cells successfully patched the defects in my bones.  It was a LONG surgery...he explained that there really isn’t a more delicate or complicated orthopedic surgery than this one. All of...