All the feels

On Saturday, there was this thing called the Rocky50K Fat Ass Run. 
It really is called that.
Really.  

I first did this run 2 years ago...

and completed my first Ultra distance. 
And it was AMAZING!
If you are a runner, and you love Philly, and you love feeling the support of the running community, then this is a run you have to do. 

This run changed my running-life. 
Not to sound dramatic, but it really did. 
From that day, I decided that I really can do whatever I put my mind to. I ran 31 miles, for fun, and talked to someone I barely knew (at the time...I’m looking at you Julia) the whole way. 

I ran it again last year...

again with Julia, and decided this was a run I would do  every year. 

So this year’s run came, and I had to make a decision...
*stay home and see how much fun everyone had via social media and hate everything 
OR
*join in somehow and be part of the fun but maybe still hate everything

Thankfully I chose the latter, hoping I wouldn’t feel worse about it all, hoping I could be happy and cheerful as people ran by. 

I shopped for snacks by scooter...

and set up an aid station around the halfway mark...



and had an amazing day. 

I saw people that I adore and admire. I saw people who are total strangers and know nothing about. 
And I cheered and fed and supported those who made it to the 15 mile mark. 
And I can’t wait to do it again next year. 

I was glad to discover that I didn’t resent the people running past my car. 
I didn’t wish I was out running...well, maybe I did a little. 
Mostly I just couldn’t wait to see who was going to run past me next!
And the hugs from people I haven’t seen in so long.  And the smiles as they ran past and said, “hey I know you.” 
Runner friends who were happy to see me, even though I’m not a runner anymore. 
It was magical. 
I know, I’m sounding dramatic again, but it really was. 

There was another part of Saturday that had me feeling all the feels...
it was actually how my day started. 
I went to the start of the run, and dropped off shoes that I collected for Back On My Feet. Not many people were there yet, so I saw the race organizer-extraordinaire (Rebecca) and was going to head home until it was time to cheer on the runners at mile 15. 


Then I met someone who I’ve admired from afar. Someone I’ve heard all about but never met in real life. Jean. She is an amazing person who once ran on her feet, and now defies normalcy with her athletic achievements after an accident left her paralyzed from the waist down. 
She started talking to me by saying hi and asking if I was ok (nodding at my crutches and knee brace). I don’t remember much of what we talked about because: a) I was legitimately star struck and b) how do I answer honestly how I’m feeling about my knee when she’s sitting in front me in a wheelchair. 

I don’t want to be “that” person who whines about not running when I will walk again...like people who complain about how hard it is needing to wear glasses because their eyes are getting “old” in front of my blind husband. 
I don’t want to be that person, and I struggle with how to talk about my knee and not running without sounding like a shallow self-consumed person, even if someone asks me about it. 

So after an amazing morning of cheering for people, and not feeling embittered, and realizing I could possibly still be part of this great community, I went home feeling complete, and grateful. 

And then I got a FB friend request and message today from Jean. She understood why I was worried about talking to her about my knee. She also reminded me that we all have our own “worsts” and that we can only go by what we know. She asked me not to downplay what I’m going through or how I’ve had to adapt to a new version of me. She wished me luck and asked me to be in touch and reach out to her when I’m ready for new activities that don’t require running.

Talk about an amazing person. 
Talk about an uplifting encounter. 
Talk about meeting someone I needed to meet, just when I needed to meet her. 

This encounter was meant to be. 
This is why the Philly running community is incomparable. 
Saturday gave me a whole new idea of how to be part of it all. 
This experience made my heart full in a way it hasn’t been since my last run with all of my running people.  

I’m grateful for chance encounters and good decisions. I’m grateful for experiences that leave me feeling full of understanding and hope. 


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