Look ma, no crutches!

Phew. 

This has been a busy week! 

I had my 10th PT appointment today. I only know it was my 10th because I have to fill out a survey about my own perception of my progress at every 10th appointment. I filled it out first at appointment #1, and the points I gave myself added up to a 15%. So I was15% satisfied with my knee way back then (a handful of days after surgery). Today, the points added up to a 50%. Not bad. 

My shadow walking without crutches to PT 

So today I walked (without crutches) to physical therapy. It felt like a good “easy” challenge. It’s 0.35 miles from my house. I took it really slow. It was nice to take advantage of living in the city and walk to appointments like I normally would. The walk home was a lot harder after having a strenuous PT session, but slow and steady I went, and eventually got home.

PT with Marty today was pretty intense, and I still can’t figure out when I should push myself and when I should wait for someone to tell me to push harder. I’m afraid of doing too much. But I’m almost as afraid of not doing enough. It’s a weird middle ground. He’s glad I’m afraid of doing too much but frequently reminds me of 2 things: 

1) whatever you do don’t fall

2) you’re doing too well right now, don’t screw that up

I’ve been doing steps one by one for the most part because doing them one foot over the other (the way normal people do) is tiring and feels somewhat straining on my knee. So Marty brings me to the stairs today and tells me to go up like a normal person. And tells me to go faster as I’m doing it. Then he tells me to come down, and go faster. And then says “looks great, do what you want on the stairs, just don’t fall down them.”  

Ok. Really? Are you sure?  

So I’m supposed to walk stairs normally, but not take the stairs everywhere (for fitness purposes like I would normally do). If elevators aren’t an option, do the stairs like a normal person. 

This is a prime example of me not knowing when something is too much vs just the right push to the next level. I would have felt like walking stairs normally was pushing it. But Marty says no. And I trust him implicitly as he’s gotten me to this point, this quickly, and has been an incredible source of information and guidance and support. 

Normal stair walking it is. 

I can also ditch the crutches for the most part. I should have one nearby in case I tire, and still no walking for fitness, but I can be trusted to be crutch free and listen to my body if I need support occasionally. 

Marty leaves for a long trip at the end of this week so my next 2 months I’ll be with a PT named Michelle. I knew this was coming but I’m still anxious. I’ve had Marty since my first surgery in August and it’ll be weird switching at such a crucial stage in my rehab...although he disagrees. He says the crucial part was getting me to walk before he left. The rest is just me working hard, which he knows I’ll do. 

So other than stairs today, I did the bike WITH resistance for the first time. Not much. But some! I did deeper squats. I did the leg press with light weight. I did calf raises with just my L leg (40 of them!...last week I struggled to do 3!!!). I did side steps with resistance bands.

And I did vascular occlusion therapy. 

This. 

Sucked.

Big time. 

We tried it 2 weeks ago but my quad was still too weak to do anything meaningful with it. Well, today I proudly bragged that straight leg lifts were now easy (mostly commenting that just last week they were still challenging, and a week later it’s no problem). 

So my bragging resulted in my thigh being squeezed with a tourniquet (there is a formula they use for thigh size and blood pressure, and they squeeze the band to a certain controlled pressure). Once the band is appropriately restricting the blood supply to my leg, I go about doing my straight leg raises which start out easy and quickly become really f*#king hard. I was laughing out loud at how much it sucked/how hard it was. 

Wow. 

Not fun, not easy, not looking forward to this on Thursday!

The theory behind it: you make your muscle work much harder without any extra strain on the joint. Body builders came up with it, and use it, and now therapists are seeing the unique benefits of it. Great theory, torturous practice!

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I spent Christmas Eve at my parents’ as we always do. They always have a big party and this year I had to answer “what did you do to your knee” way more times than I wanted to. I mentioned this before, maybe a few weeks ago, but I’m tired of explaining what’s wrong with my knee to “strangers.” 

I feel like an asshole saying that, but it’s true. I read other people’s blogs before I had my own surgery and heard a few people say the same thing, and I thought they sounded like assholes.

Now I’m the asshole blogger. 

One problem is the guaranteed comment: “oh, you must have been a runner”

I’m sure they have no idea how infuriating and incorrect and hard it is to hear someone say that. But, it gets said almost every time. 

And then I have to try really hard not to shoot daggers from my eyes, because I do not do well controlling the look on my face, no matter how hard I try. 

And once we get past that part of the conversation, I am then told about whatever orthopedic malady they are dealing with, including all of the nitty gritty details they offer up to me. 

Again, not to be an asshole, but can we talk about something else? Anything else?

It’s similar to what happens shortly after you give birth. Literally anyone and everyone feels compelled to ask you about the laboring and delivery process. This quickly turns to sharing their own story, complete with details about cervical dilation and mucous plugs. 

Anyway, it’s part of the process, and part of human nature to ask what’s wrong...but I’m ready to talk about anything else!

This is the first Christmas that I didn’t ask for anything fitness related (running shoes, gear, etc). I worried that I’d be sad to not get anything even though, like I said, I didn’t ask for it.  

Have no fear, my parents came through in a big way with some biking gear!

Some awesome lights, windproof riding gloves, phone holder, and this amazing windbreaker meant for biking. 

I’ll be honest and say that I felt a brief emotional panic when I opened the first one or two things. 

-why am I opening bike things, I can’t bike outside for another 3 or more months?

-what if I don’t ever bike again?

-this sucks, I wish I could just be happy to have awesome gear

-ok, I’m ok, this stuff is awesome and I’ll totally be using this before I know it

-wow, how awesome that I got athletic gear and didn’t even have to ask for it...they know I’ll be back out there in no time

It was brief, but I panicked a bit and then had to figure out why I was panicking. 

Have I mentioned that my past few years in therapy has been one of the best investments I’ve ever made? If not, I just did. Pretty sure my panic was maybe only slightly detected and I turned it around pretty smoothly. 

Phew. 

But this new gear is patiently waiting for me and my preserved knee to put it to use!

That’s all for now. 

Thanks for reading and caring!